Tuesday, November 27, 2007

spare change...

I was going to write about how I think that everyone needs therapy, literally everyone...but I decided that was too melodramatic for tonight.

My favorite part of a roller coaster is the very top right before you fly screaming over the edge. I like the tension and anticipation of the moment. Without the stress of the moment, the soaring over the hill would be worthless. Anticipation. Tension. Stress. Impatience. A tiny bit of fear...healthy fear.

I feel like my family, the boys and Justin, my immediate family, my in-laws, my church family, you name it... is on the verge of a very big change.

The top of the roller coaster, type of changes.

And I am...Anxious. Wound too tight. Biting my nails. Growing impatient. Trying to keep my cool and trust God.

I know that I am needing spiritual growth. I think He is waiting for me to do the growing and then He will dish out the changes.

How to grow? Eat Exercise and Rest...Thanks Brian...

Read my Bible and gee...remember what I read 10 minutes later.

How about utilizing some of the things that I have learned in the past 3 years!

Finally, I need to start taking some time to chill out and rest...not watch TV or play Guitar Hero...I need to do something that actually makes me feel lighter...play with the kids and Justin...I actually think that literally exercising would make me feel a lot better and rest more effectively....

I wonder where God will put us...What are His plans for our little family...Lord, please give Justin direction tonight...Justin...please pray.

I must be more disciplined! So, off of the computer and to the reading I must go!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I am ready for snow...

Well...the Holidays are upon us!

What FUN!

Justin and I put up the Christmas tree on Saturday night. When I brought Oliver downstairs on Sunday morning, he just stared at the tree for a few seconds and then..."WOW!" he says. I almost fell over! He is entirely too cute for his own good.
Sidenote: Thanks so much for the compliments on the photos...but I must give the props to Mrs. Sara Bishir! She was working that camera for all it was worth!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

old me

Last night, Liam wouldn't or couldn't sleep.

So, I was awake with him for a couple hours.

As we were laying in bed, I had plenty of time to think. I thought about lots of things. Nights when I could sleep undisturbed by a baby. My boys. My friend, Annie, and her situation. My family, mainly Andrew and McKenzie. Christmas and shopping. My dream house. My dream body. My dream studio. Art. My old life...

My old life...that is a small statement. Yet, it is such a big piece of who I am.

I thought back to college mostly. What a fun time in my life. I didn't party, if that is what you are thinking. I thought back to days where all I did or had to do was simply make art. Man, did I ever have it made.

I didn't realize it then.

Then, it hit me. I do have a pretty nice life now. All I have to do is play with my boys all day. Sure there are dishes and laundry and dinner and baths...Someday, I will miss these things.

I am sure that I am not the only mom that misses being the "old me."

Something happens when you have kids. I am not just me anymore. I doubt I ever will be again. And I honestly don't know that I want to be just me again. I was rather selfish.

So, for today...I am going to enjoy the life that God has given me to live...really enjoy it.

Goodbye computer...Hello Crayola!

All the rest of you moms out there...go PLAY! These days will be gone before we know it...